


How Endgame SHOULD Have Ended

by hybridempress



Category: Avengers: Endgame - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Alternate Universe, Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-04-29
Packaged: 2020-02-09 12:52:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18638503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hybridempress/pseuds/hybridempress
Summary: Everyone was starting to wish that they had just stayed their sorry grieving asses at home and not bothered with this shitscram plot to save the world after failing to save the world in the first place, until...





	How Endgame SHOULD Have Ended

**Author's Note:**

> So anyways no spoilers but I thought the ending of Endgame sucked ass so I rewrote it and it's much better now. Read at your own risk and no I don't take criticism.

     In the heat of battle, it began to look like all hope was lost. Thanos was bashing heads left and right. The newly created Iron Infinity Gauntlet was being tossed from hand to hand and would soon be in Thanos’s grasp. Everyone was starting to wish that they had just stayed their sorry grieving asses at home and not bothered with this shitscram plot to save the world after failing to save the world in the first place.

 

     Then, just when half all of humanity was going to get snapped away into oblivion for a second time, another portal appeared in the sky right above Thanos. In a bright flash of blue light, Loki and the Grandmaster vogued right out of Sakar and right onto the battlefield. 

 

     “Surprise, bitch! I bet you thought you’d seen the last of me!” Loki said while grinning mischievously, continuing to vogue down a red carpet made from his wicked stupid trickster magic.

 

     “What? But how is this possible?” Thanos sobbed, knowing that he was about to get his ass obliterated by the raw power of the sheer gay energy emanating from these two embodiments of utter chaotic neutrality.

 

     “I’m the fucking god of chaos, bitch! Did you really think you could kill me just by putting your meaty sausage fingers around my neck for a few seconds? What a putz!”

 

     Then, Loki and the Grandmaster jumped down from their magic red carpet and melted Thanos with the Grandmaster’s magic melting stick, just in time to save Antman from having to go up Thanos’s ass. With their supreme leader gone, none of Thanos’s army was dedicated enough to the cause to keep fighting, so they all went home.

 

     Everyone cheered around the purple puddle that Thanos had been turned into, and Loki and the Grandmaster made out in the goo for five hours. 

 

***

 

     Steve was back in 1945 after returning the Infinity Stones to their proper places in time. Originally, he had planned to stay in this year and convince Peggy that he hadn’t died but ask her not to tell anyone he had survived so that he could marry her and never have to worry about being Captain America ever again. However, he soon realized two things.

 

     First, he realized what a stupid plan this was. Even if he could convince Peggy to marry him, he would be creating an alternate timeline where Peggy doesn’t marry whoever she married in his timeline and therefore he would never be able to show up at a bench in 80 years to pass on his duty to Sam, and his timeline would just assume he got lost in time and would probably spend a shitton of time and resources trying to find him, and would probably create even more problems in the process.

 

     Second, he realized that he had  _ two hands.  _ He didn’t have to pick just one person to be with. He could pick  _ two.  _ And one of them didn’t have to be Peggy.

 

     Meanwhile, in the present, Tony also realized that he had two hands. He also realized that he  _ really  _ missed Steve. He was tired of fighting over superhero politics. Politics had screwed him over one too many times. He was ready to become an anarchist.

 

     When Steve came back to the present, he and Tony ran to each other. 

 

     “I have two hands!” Steve shouted.

 

     “Two hands!” Tony repeated.

 

     “Two hands!” They said in unison.

 

     They went home together with Pepper and Bucky, and Morgan grew up to become the CEO of Star Industries with the help of her mother and three dads.

 

**_~The End~_ **


End file.
